


written in the stars (a million miles away)

by beautifulbane



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (for the most part), 5 + 1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, broganes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 22:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15422538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifulbane/pseuds/beautifulbane
Summary: For the first time in Shiro's life, looking up at the sky didn't fill him with the excitement it always did. It just made him feel...lonely. Scared.But then he thought back to all of the times he and Adam had sat underneath those same stars together, talking about their future. Shiro had told him so many times that he'd go up there one day, to see all that space had to offer. Adam had smiled fondly at him, teasingly asking where that left him.Shiro had cupped his cheek and kissed him. Told him that, no matter what, he'd always come back for him.(Or, 5 times Shiro and Adam looked up at the stars and thought about each other while separated, and one time they watched them together.)





	written in the stars (a million miles away)

**Author's Note:**

> hiii! sorry for not posting in like...a year lol, i just haven’t been very inspired :( but then voltron introduced these canon boyfriends and i had to write a fic of them!! i’m so fascinated by them and their story, i can’t wait for season 7! 
> 
> i hope you enjoy!! (also, i know keith&lance are tagged, but they don’t really have any scenes together, it’s just lance talking about keith to shiro!)

**1.**

Adam didn't sleep well the first night that Shiro was gone.

Or, no. Let him rephrase that: he didn't sleep at all.

He tried, stubbornly, to sleep, knowing that he had to wake up early to teach his students the next morning. But it was no use. Shiro was the only thing on his mind, thoughts of how he had looked before he left running through his mind. Adam had wanted to hug him, or kiss him goodbye, but he'd held himself back. He had told Shiro that if he left, they were done, and he'd meant that.

With _that_  thought in mind, Adam sat up in his bed, running his hands over his face. He kept playing that conversation over and over again in his head, trying to decide if he had made the right decision. He'd just been so _mad_. And...and _worried._ He and Shiro were going to get married. They hadn't picked out a date, or even gotten the rings, but they'd known. They'd talked about it. It always seemed like something that was set in stone.

Then Shiro had been assigned to the Kerberos mission. Adam had been supportive at first, because how _couldn't_ he be? Shiro had been so excited. It was his _dream_ , is what he'd told Adam multiple times.

He didn't think he'd ever be able to fly into space because of his disease, and when the Garrison started debating whether or not he should go because of that very reason, Shiro was understandably devastated.

Adam understood, he _did_. But he also...maybe thought that the Garrison had a point. The Kerberos mission was expected to last a year, maybe a little longer. Shiro's condition left him with only a few good years left before he started to decline. As much as the thought caused Adam's chest to tighten and his stomach to lurch, he'd done his best to come to peace with this fact over the years.

But he also always thought that he and Shiro would spend his last few years together. Adam wanted nothing more than to be by Shiro's side, _through sickness and in health_ , but the Kerberos mission, to Adam, felt like Shiro not wanting the same thing.

So he'd called it off — the engagement, their relationship. _Everything_. A part of him had thought...hey, maybe Shiro would stay with him, if he gave him an ultimatum.

But the other, more realistic part of him, knew there wasn't any use. Something he and Shiro had in common was that they were both _terribly_ stubborn. Nothing was going to stand in the way of Shiro flying into space and exploring a mysterious, foreign planet.

Not even his relationship with Adam.

Adam stood up from his bed (he and Shiro's bed, _damn it_ ) and walked over to his bedroom window, opening it. The cool night air was a welcome sensation, and he closed his eyes, taking it in.

When he opened them, he was met with the bright stars in the purple night sky. His mouth twisted worriedly into a frown. Shiro was up there, and there was no way for Adam to know if he was alright.

"You better stay safe up there, you jackass," Adam whispered, his eyes never once leaving the sky. He thought about the possibility of Shiro also looking at the stars right now, of Adam being on his mind, too, and felt a little bit comforted. He knew the thought was unrealistic, but he didn't mind. It brought him some peace, and Lord knew that was what he needed right now.

He lost track of how long he ended up staring at the stars, thinking of all of the memories he and Shiro had made together, before eventually crawling back into bed.

Not that he could sleep.

***

**2.**

When Shiro first got captured, one of his first thoughts was _Adam_.

There were other things to be worried about, of _course_ there were, but he couldn't deny that the first thought that came to mind when he was in immediate danger was that he might not ever see his boyfriend again.

 _Ex_ -boyfriend, he reminded himself, just to feel that familiar ache in his chest. He'd hoped, desperately, that Adam would change his mind once Shiro made it back. That he'd be so happy to see Shiro again that all would be forgiven. They'd hug and kiss and maybe the wedding would even be put back on.

But that all seemed like wishful thinking now. It _was_ wishful thinking. The aliens they'd encountered...they weren't friendly; not in the slightest. Shiro had no idea what they would end up doing to him, Matt, and Sam. It seemed that, at the moment, the aliens were discussing it. They'd handcuffed the three of them almost immediately, and all they could do was wait to see what would happen next.

It was terrifying.

Shiro looked up at the bright white stars illuminating the otherwise black sky. For the first time in Shiro's life, looking up at the sky didn't fill him with the excitement it always did. It just made him feel...lonely. Scared.

But then he thought back to all of the times he and Adam had sat underneath those same stars together, talking about their future. Shiro had told him _so many times_  that he'd go up there one day, to see all that space had to offer. Adam had smiled fondly at him, teasingly asking where that left him.

Shiro had cupped his cheek and kissed him. Told him that, no matter what, he'd always come back for him.

Shiro closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. He knew there were two things he could do. He could give up now, look up at the sky and apologize to Adam for not being able to keep his promise.

Or...he could fight. Shiro could do everything in his ability to make sure that he made it back home to Adam and stayed true to his word.

He opened his eyes. There was only one option for him. He was going to make it back home, for Adam, and Keith, and the rest of his family. He had _promised_ Adam, and a promise wasn't something Shiro broke easily.

One of the aliens turned around to look at them, scowling when he saw Shiro was awake. He began to make his way over to him, and Shiro took one last look at the sky, silently hoping Adam was looking at those stars too, before everything went black.

***

**3.**

When Adam found out that Keith had dropped out of the Garrison, only a couple of weeks after the Kerberos mission was declared a failure, Adam knew he had to see him. His own superiors had told him that he was more than welcome to take some days off, to grieve for Shiro, but that...that hadn't helped at _all._ He'd taken the day off after the news broke, and found that he was alone in he and Shiro's home, that he always would be.

He'd sat in bed and cried, bitterly, grieving all that had been lost. Adam had always told himself that if... _when_ he lost Shiro, it would be to his disease. He pictured having to watch the man he loved slowly wither away until...

The thought used to keep Adam up at night, used to have him holding Shiro a little bit closer as they laid in bed together.

But...as much as Adam resented it, he'd also started to make peace with Shiro's disease. He knew one day that he would lose him, but he always told himself that they had more time before things started getting really bad. They had _years_ together, still.

He never pictured this. Never pictured checking the news before bed, having to see on the _tv_ , of all things, that Shiro's mission had been a failure. That all three pilots were presumed to be dead.

He never pictured sobbing in bed by himself, feeling more alone in the world than he ever had before.

(Easy to say, he'd gone back to work the next day. Adam had felt everyone's eyes on him, had heard the whispers from the staff and the students, but he hadn't completely minded. Not really. Anything was better than being holed up alone in he and Shiro's old apartment.)

His point was, as soon as he heard Keith had dropped out of the Garrison and was out in the world on his own, Adam knew he had to see him. He didn't want Keith to have to go through what he himself went through while grieving. No one deserved to grieve alone.

It took some digging, but he eventually found out where Keith was staying with help from the Garrison. They'd been stingy about it, telling Adam that he wasn't Keith's legal guardian so they shouldn't be disclosing this information to him. Adam had told them that they were right, Keith's legal guardian couldn't be there for him because _the Garrison_ had sent him on a death mission.

That got them to start talking pretty quickly.

Adam had started to stay after school to help tutor students who were struggling in his class — anything to avoid going to his empty home. That was why, when Adam finally started on his way to Keith's, the sun was beginning to set.

He hadn't meant to stay that long after hours (time seemed to pass differently without Shiro around), but he told himself it was okay. Keith would still be awake and they would still get to talk.

Once Adam arrived to the address the Garrison had given him, he had to do a double take. Keith was staying...here? He wondered, what on Earth had drawn him out here? It was so barren, so...run down.

He got out of his car and took a deep breath as he made his way to the...hut? Shack? Adam didn't know what to call it. He hoped Keith didn't mind seeing him, that he wasn't overstepping boundaries. With that thought in mind, Adam knocked on the front door, right foot tapping anxiously on the wooden porch.

After what felt like an eternity, Keith finally opened the door. He was in sweats, and when Adam looked up to see his face, he saw that there were deep bags under his eyes, his hair a complete mess on his head. If Adam squinted, he thought he could make out dry tear stains on his cheeks.

Keith wiped at them half-heartedly with his sleeve. "What are you doing here?" He asked lowly.

Adam's shoulders slumped. "I saw that you dropped out of the Garrison. I thought...maybe you would want to talk about it."

"Why would I want to talk about that with you? You wouldn't understand. You...you're perfectly fine. You just completely moved on from Shiro, as if he isn't...didn't..." Keith broke off with a frustrated huff, not meeting Adam's eyes.

Adam frowned, immediately shaking his head. "Are you kidding? I'm a mess," he told Keith, letting out a quiet, self-depreciating chuckle. "The day after the mission was declared a failure, I...I cried the whole day straight. I just felt so _alone_ in that stupid house, so I knew I couldn't just sit around and do nothing. I had to go back to work, to be around people."

Keith still wasn't meeting his eyes, but he didn't look as hostile as he'd been when he had first seen Adam. Just...sad.

"I worry that with you dropping out of the Garrison, and holing yourself up in this..." Adam still didn't know what to call it. "Place," he settled on, "you might end up feeling how I felt. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

Keith finally met his eyes, and he looked...devastated. Not to mention terribly young. Adam wanted to hug him, but he wasn't sure if that was okay.

"You can come in," Keith said gruffly, and Adam sighed in relief, taking that as an accomplishment.

The two of them walked inside, Adam immediately taking in his surroundings. Admittedly, there wasn't much surrounding him, but Adam was glad to see Keith at least had a couch, and a table to eat at. Wait, did he even have food?

"Do you have food? Water?" Adam asked, cringing a bit at himself because _honestly_ , he sounded like he was trying to take care of a dog or something.

Keith snorted quietly at the question. At least he seemed to find Adam's awkwardness amusing.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I have a bike, so I can go into town whenever I need to."

"Good. That's...good," Adam breathed. They made their way over to the couch, sitting down on it. Keith brought his legs up to his chest and rested his head on them, his eyes squeezing shut. He looked absolutely exhausted. Adam's heart squeezed in his chest, thinking about how he himself hadn't been sleeping much lately, either.

"So...what drew you to this place?" Adam had to ask, his brows furrowing. "It couldn't have been easy finding it."

Keith shrugged his shoulders. "I can't really explain it. I just felt...drawn to this place, in a way. Like there was some sort of energy pulling me here."

Not for the first time, and definitely not for the last, Adam wished Shiro was here. As much as Adam had tried to connect and click with Keith over the years, it wasn't even close to the same as the bond Shiro had with the younger boy. They just _got_  each other, and Adam had a feeling Shiro would have a better understanding of what Keith meant right now.

But...Shiro wasn't here. It was just Adam and Keith now.

"That's cool," Adam said, trying to smile reassuringly when Keith looked over at him. "Really. I've never heard of anything like that. But I'm...glad you found a place to stay, if you're sure you're not going back to the Garrison."

Keith scowled at the mere mention of the place. "I couldn't stand seeing that dick Iverson again." He then seemed to remember that Iverson was, in fact, Adam's boss, and bit his lip. "Uh, sorry."

Adam laughed quietly. "It's okay. Whatever he did, I'm sure he deserved the title."

Keith nodded, and then they were quiet, but not necessarily in an awkward way. It was more just...enjoying the fact that they didn't have to be alone, at the moment.

"You know," Adam started, his throat tight with the words he was about to say, "You're welcome to stay with me, if you don't want to be alone. There's plenty of space, more than I know what to do with."

Keith looked over at him, his eyes wide. But then he sighed, his face dropping a bit. "That's...that's a nice offer. And I appreciate it. But I couldn't...I couldn't stay there without thinking about Shiro. I was so used to going there to see him, to spend time with you both, that I...it..." He let out a frustrated huff, trying to find the right words to say. "It'd just feel weird."

Adam nodded, staring straight ahead. He understood perfectly what Keith was trying to say.

"I can't imagine how it must be for you, staying there," Keith said, his eyes shining with sympathy when Adam looked over at him.

The words took Adam by surprise. He had to bite his bottom lip to stop himself from losing it right here and now.

"It's okay," Adam assured Keith, trying to sound as honest as possible. "I'm hardly ever there, really. I've been going in to work early to grade papers, and staying late to help some of my students who are struggling. It seems like I'm only at home if I'm sleeping or eating, so it's...it's fine."

Keith looked like he didn't believe him, but thankfully he didn't question it. Just gave a little shrug of his shoulders.

"I have a question for you," Keith said, after a moment or two had passed.

"Shoot," Adam replied.

Keith's mouth twisted into a small frown. "Do you regret breaking up with Shiro before he left for Kerberos?"

Adam blinked in surprise at the question. Keith really wasn't one for small talk, was he?

"I," Adam started, letting out a sigh. "It's complicated."

Keith gave him a look, one that very clearly said he wasn't going to let Adam off the hook that easily.

" _Okay_ ," Adam relented. "A part of me does, but another part of me doesn't. If he thought about me, during his last moments, I...I can only hope that they weren't resentful thoughts. The fact that I'll never know kills me inside."

Keith nodded. "And the part of you that doesn't?"

"I guess it was my way of showing Shiro that I didn't approve of him going to Kerberos. But it wasn't...it wasn't even entirely about the mission. It was about him continuously putting his life at stake, as if he didn't have anyone back home, waiting for him. I...I _loved_ Shiro, I did, but I couldn't sit back and watch as he risked his life again. The doctors told him he only had a couple more years left, and I always imagined us spending those together, but..." He trailed off, blinking back tears. "I gave him a choice, and he chose what was more important to him. That's just how it is."

It was quiet for a minute, and then there was a hand on his shoulder, comforting him. Adam looked up, smiling softly when he met Keith's eyes.

"Shiro cared about you, too. You were the love of his life." Adam felt a few tears fall freely from his eyes at those words. _Oh, fuck, so much for not crying in front of Keith_ , he thought to himself as he wiped hastily at them. "But you know how stubborn he was. Once he set his mind to something...he had to do it."

Adam laughed a watery laugh. "Yeah, god, was he ever..." He looked out at the window behind him, seeing that it was now completely dark outside. He smiled slightly, his eyes going to the sky. "You know, it's silly, but sometimes...When I'm feeling sad, I'll look up at the stars, and imagine that Shiro is still up there. Safe, and...and alive."

Keith looked out the window too, his head tilted upwards at the stars. "Does it help?" He asked.

Adam gave a small shrug. "Not completely, of course, but...yeah, it helps a little."

They stayed there for a while after that, watching the stars and thinking of Shiro, until they both started yawning.

"I should probably get going," Adam said regretfully. "I have another early morning tomorrow."

Keith nodded in understanding. "Okay. Uh...thanks for stopping by."

The both of them stood up, and before Adam could talk himself out of it, he took a few steps forward and wrapped Keith up in a hug. Keith hesitated for a second, before reciprocating it just as tight.

"If you _ever_ need me, for anything, you have my number. Don't be afraid to call, okay?" Adam asked.

He felt Keith nod against him. "Okay."

Adam broke the hug, giving Keith's shoulders a small squeeze before being escorted outside. He took one more look up at the sky, sighed, and then began the drive home.

***

**4.**

Ever since Shiro had stopped being a paladin, he'd started going from lion to lion, staying in a different one each night. It was a nice way of getting to spend time with all of his teammates, since he had been away from them for so long.

Tonight, he was in the red lion with Lance. Allura had told them before they all went to bed that it was only a matter of days before they made it back to Earth, and that thought had pretty much guaranteed that Shiro wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

He looked up at where Lance was still sitting in his pilot's seat, his fingers drumming anxiously on his armrest. Shiro knew that he could put Red on autopilot if he wanted to sleep, which meant that Lance must have been putting it off, as well.

He stood up, walking over to Lance. "Not tired?" Shiro asked him as he placed his hand on the back of his pilot's chair.

Lance jumped, probably startled from the long silence being broken, before shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I am, but...I don't know. I can't sleep."

"Too busy thinking about going home?" Shiro guessed.

Lance looked up at him with wide eyes. "How'd you know?"

Shiro chuckled softly. "Because it's why I'm still up, too."

" _Oh_ ," Lance said, processing this information. "What is it about home that you're thinking of?"

Shiro looked straight ahead, at all of the bright stars in the sky. He thought about the promise he had made, so many years ago, that he would see Adam again — that he would make it home to him. It seemed unreal that he would be fulfilling that promise soon.

"About my boyfriend," Shiro confessed with a sheepish smile.

Lance spun around in his seat, his mouth gaping open and his eyes wide. " _What_?! You have...a _boyfriend_? Back on Earth?"

Shiro nodded enthusiastically, although he then let out a sigh, his smile dropping. "I guess I shouldn't say that anymore. He kind of...dumped me, before I left for Kerberos. But I haven't stopped thinking about him ever since."

"I'm sure he still cares about you," Lance assured. "How long were you two together before you left?"

"Five years," Shiro admitted quietly.

Lance whistled at those words. "Holy shit," he said, before his face softened. "But, seriously, feelings like that don't just go away. I bet he's been anxiously awaiting your return since Sam told him you were alive."

Shiro swallowed nervously. "Yeah, I s'pose so. I just...I want him to be safe, you know? I couldn't live with myself if something had happened to him while I was away."

Lance frowned, his eyes getting a faraway look in them as he stared straight ahead. "Yeah, I...I definitely know what you mean. I've had so many dreams of the Galra coming to Earth and just... _destroying_ it."

Shiro felt his heart clench in his chest at the mere thought of it. He couldn't imagine actually having to live it out in his head during a nightmare.

"I'm sorry, Lance," he apologized. "I can't imagine how that must have felt. But you just...you have to think of the positives. Of reuniting with your family, of how happy all of you will be. I _know_ your family must have been lost without you around. Hell, _we'd_  be lost without you around."

Lance smiled shakily. Shiro was glad to see that he looked a lot happier than he did before, if not a little emotional. "Thank you, Shiro. I...it's _really good_  to have you back."

Shiro smiled at him, too. "It's good to be back," he agreed. He was going to go back over to the bed he had set up, maybe try to get a few hours of sleep, but saw that Lance kept sneaking glances at him. "Uh, anything else you want to talk about?" Shiro asked him.

Lance's cheeks flushed slightly. "It's stupid," he said immediately.

Shiro shook his head. "I guarantee you, it's not."

Lance let out a breath, scratching at his neck while very pointedly not meeting Shiro's eyes. "It's...it's a _completely_ hypothetical question. I just, uh, was wondering, since you said you had a boyfriend...uh, how did you find out you were into boys?"

Shiro's eyes went a little wide in surprise, before his lips turned up into a knowing smile. _Oh_.

"Well, I suppose it's different for everyone," Shiro mused. "But it was in high school that I first realized, for a couple of reasons. One, it was when my friends all started to hyperfocus on girls, and I...that hadn't ever been me. I never noticed girls in the way that they did."

Lance's shoulders slumped. "Oh," he said, almost as if he were disappointed.

"But the second reason is because that's when I met Adam," Shiro reminisced, his voice going soft.

Lance smiled up at him, letting out a sigh. "Was it love at first sight?" He asked dramatically.

"Oh, _hell_ no. We hated each other at first."

Lance gaped up at him. "You _what_?"

"Okay, okay, we didn't _hate_ each other. It's just...we were _so_ competitive, and both of us were at the top of our class, which didn't help. Our teachers always said that we were neck and neck. But...after a few years, we really started to respect each other, and grow together as friends. After that it seemed like it was only a natural progression that we became...more," Shiro finished, looking out at the stars and smiling happily at the memories.

He then noticed that Lance had been quiet for a suspiciously long time, and when Shiro looked down at him, he saw that Lance was blushing something awful.

"I think...I think I'm going to be sick," he said decidedly.

"Do you need a trash ca—"

"I like _Keith_ ," Lance whined, putting Red on auto-pilot before stuffing his head in his hands. "Oh my god, this is a nightmare."

Shiro's mouth dropped open in surprise. He wanted to say that he was shocked, but...he wasn't, really. Mostly he was just thinking about how fucking happy his little brother was going to be. Keith had spent _years_ pining after Lance.

But he couldn't really think about that right now, not when Lance looked five seconds away from having a panic attack. He placed a hand on Lance's shoulder, Lance looking up at him with panicked eyes.

"Hey, that's _perfectly_ okay. Some people like both boys and girls, and that's _fine_."

Lance nodded. "Yeah, I've known about bisexuality for a while now. I mean, I always kind of wondered about myself, but I never...I never knew for sure. Then you started talking about you and Adam's relationship, and it just...it clicked. I like Keith," he repeated, as if he were trying to process the information himself.

"That's okay, too," Shiro reassured.

"No, it's not. Keith would _never_ like me back," Lance said miserably. "I keep falling for people who are _way_ out of my league."

Before Shiro could hold it back, he let out a snort. Right, Keith not liking Lance back...if only Lance knew how gone Keith was for him.

Lance squinted up at him. "Is that _funny_  to you?" He exclaimed, outraged.

Shiro quickly sobered up. "No, _no_ , not at all, I just...I think you should talk to him, Lance. You'll never know until you do. And...well..." He trailed off, the stars sparkling almost tantalizingly at him. "I would've given anything to have let Adam know how important he was to me before I left for Kerberos. I _hate_  how we left things. I don't want you and Keith to end up like that."

Lance smiled sympathetically at him. "Okay," he promised. "I'll talk to him first thing tomorrow. I'll probably get my heart broken and then I'll come crying to you, saying 'I told you so', but...yeah. I'll do it."

Shiro wanted nothing more than to call up Keith and tell him he won't _believe_ what he just found out, but he knew he had to wait and let Lance tell him in his own time. He gave Lance a pat on the back and then walked back over to his blow up bed, sitting down on it.

"Good. Now get some rest, you don't want bags under your eyes when you confess to Keith," Shiro said teasingly.

Lance turned around, giving Shiro an indignant glare. "How _dare_ you assume I would _ever_  have bags under my eyes." He then shrugged. "But, yeah, goodnight."

Shiro chuckled quietly, amused. "Goodnight, Lance," he murmured, and laid back down onto his bed.

He closed his eyes, thinking about how he only had a couple more sleeps before he and Adam were reunited.

If Adam even wanted to see him again...

***

**5.**

_Soon_.

Ever since Sam had told him that Shiro was very much alive, that he was leading a team against evil aliens called the Galra and that he was coming back to Earth _soon_ , the word had been playing on repeat inside Adam's mind. He'd wanted to yell at Sam, ask what he meant by _soon_ , tell him that he had waited years and he needed to know _when_ , _exactly_ , _please_...

But he hadn't. He hadn't been able to find the words. Or any words, for that matter. He'd just stood there, his mouth dropped open, barely breathing from the news he had just received.

"You alright there, Adam?" Sam had asked him, an understanding look on his face.

"I need," Adam started, swallowing thickly. "I need time to process this. I'm sorry, do you mind?" He asked, looking over at the door.

"Oh," Sam said, clearly not expecting that. "No, of course I don't mind. Take all of the time you need."

Adam had thanked him, for telling him, and then watched carefully as Sam walked out of the front door. As soon as it was closed, he was falling to his knees, right in the middle of his kitchen. He felt his composure completely shatter as sobs wracked through his body, his mind struggling to comprehend what he had just been told.

It had been... _years_. So, so long. He remembered thinking, for the first few months, that Shiro was still out there. That he was alive and would come back to Adam some day. But as time went on, Adam grew wearier, and he knew he couldn't keep filling himself up with false hopes.

 _Shiro wasn't coming back_ , he'd told himself, and as much pain and grief as that had brought him, he'd tried to make his peace with it. He told himself that he had.

The fact that he'd had a complete mental breakdown minutes after finding out Shiro was, in fact, still alive, told him that maybe he _hadn't_ completely made his peace with it. Not even a little bit.

That had been months ago, and Shiro still wasn't back. When Adam was feeling particularly low, he'd tell himself that maybe something happened to him on his way back to Earth. But he always rid that thought from his mind fairly quickly. Shiro had a _team_ , a part of which was Keith. Keith wouldn't _ever_  let something happen to Shiro.

Currently, Adam was sitting in his window seat, a mug of tea in his hands as he stared out of the wide bedroom window. He and Shiro had sat here together countless times, both facing each other and twining their legs together so there was enough space for the both of them.

Adam took a sip of tea at the memory, leaning his head against the cool glass of the window. He had made himself tea to help him settle down before bed, and he _was_ tired, but...his mind wouldn't stop thinking. Wouldn't stop worrying about Shiro's wellbeing.

For a while, Adam had stopped looking up at the stars. It was too painful for him. Instead of thinking about Shiro being up there, looking at the same stars as Adam himself, he just...pictured those stars as the ones that had taken Shiro away from him. That had...killed him.

But after Sam's news, he started stargazing again. Shiro _was_ up there, he told himself. It wasn't just wishful thinking.

God, he wished he knew when Shiro would be back. Adam would've done anything to have an exact date, so he didn't have to keep staring up at the sky, hoping, _waiting_.

He watched as a star shot across the sky and his lips quirked up into a smile. Maybe that was a good sign.

"Bring him back. Soon," Adam whispered, and made to head to bed.

***

**+1**

A couple of nights later, there was a knock on Adam's door. It was late, a little past eleven, so Adam most definitely hadn't been expecting anyone. He debated getting changed out of his pajamas, but he didn't want to keep whoever the person was at the door waiting.

Sliding his glasses onto his face, he got out of bed, making his way over to the front door. Before he could open it, he hesitated, his mind filling up with thoughts about who could possibly be behind it.

What if it was Sam? What if he had come into contact with a member of Shiro's team, and something...something had happened to him? Something horrible?

Adam squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. There was no way to know for sure until he opened it. He stared at the doorknob in front of him, and before he could back out, he hastily unlocked it and opened the door.

The sight he was met with immediately knocked all of the breath out of his lungs.

Because...because it was Shiro. Adam's eyes took in the white/gray hair on his head, the long scar across his nose, and the...the robotic arm replacing his own. Adam's stomach rolled. _What did they do to you?_ he asked inside of his head.

"Takashi," he breathed, his voice thick with emotion because...it _was_ him. His outward appearance had changed, very much so, but it was still Shiro; clear as day.

It was apparent that Shiro was taking Adam in too, his eyes moving up and down Adam's frame. Adam blushed slightly. He suddenly wished he had taken the time to get changed out of his pajamas.

"I'm sorry," Shiro said, and Adam almost lost it just from hearing the sound of his voice. He hadn't heard it in _years_. "Uh, for...stopping by so late. I'm sure you were probably in bed, you always were the type to be early to bed, early to ri—"

Adam couldn't help it. He interrupted Shiro's nervous rambling by lunging forward, all but crushing Shiro in a tight hug. He buried his head in his neck, taking in... _everything_. His smell, his warmth, the way Shiro hesitated for a second before immediately wrapping Adam up just as tightly.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Adam said, having to swallow back the lump that had formed in his throat. "S-Sam, he told me you were alive, but I didn't...there was a part of me that didn't believe him. I didn't think it could be real."

Shiro was quiet for a moment, and when Adam looked up, he saw that the other man was blinking back tears. Adam smiled softly at the sight, reaching out to wipe gently at Shiro's cheek as the tears began to fall.

"I'm here," Shiro promised, his voice wobbly. "I...it's really good to see you."

Adam chuckled softly in disbelief. _Good_ didn't even begin to describe it. He rested his hand on Shiro's neck, watching as Shiro leaned into the touch, all of the weight seeming to sink out of his shoulders.

"It's good to see you, too," Adam whispered, even though it didn't even begin to describe how he was feeling at the moment.

Shiro smiled, and the next thing Adam knew, they both were leaning in, their lips meeting tenderly in the middle. It was a gentle kiss for a while, both of them reacquainting themselves with the other after all of the time that had passed between them. It was then that it seemed to click that neither of them had done this for _years_ , and the kiss turned into something else, something deeper. Adam's arms tightened around Shiro's shoulders as Shiro's arms held him closer around the waist, their lips moving desperately together. It almost felt like, if they were to separate, they'd have to let the other one go again, and neither of them wanted that — not at all.

Eventually, when air seemed to make itself a necessity, they broke apart, both of them panting from the intensity of the kiss. They were still holding each other tightly, not daring to look away from the other.

Adam felt that his cheeks were wet, and realized he must have started crying into the kiss. He wiped at the tear marks, laughing embarrassedly as he did so.

"God, we're both a mess, aren't we?" He asked thickly.

It was then that Shiro seemed to notice that the door was still open, both of them standing in the doorway despite the cool night air coming in. He took a few steps forward and then closed the door behind them.

"Complete disasters," Shiro agreed pointedly. He then sighed, taking a step away from Adam. Adam almost took a step forward, on pure instinct, but stopped himself before he could. "You...you made it clear, before I left, that you wouldn't be here when I got back. But I came here anyway, as soon as I got back, because I...I don't know. Maybe I'm selfish, but I _had_  to see you again; to know that you're okay."

"What are you saying?" Adam asked softly.

Shiro shook his head. "I know we're both feeling a lot of emotions right now, but when those start to fade, I don't...I don't want you to resent me, for coming here, even though you made it clear we weren't going to be together anymore."

"God, Takashi," Adam murmured, finally taking that step forward so he could cup Shiro's cheek with his hand. "I could _never_ resent you. I would've...I would've been madder if you _hadn't_ come here first thing. I know what I said, and at the moment I'd meant it, but...I _love_ you. All I've ever wanted was for you to be okay. And, okay, maybe I'm still mad that you decided to go on the mission despite the clear dangers it presented and me warning you against it, but..." Adam took a breath to steady himself. "We'll talk. We'll get through it. _Together_."

Shiro nodded quickly, a small, careful smile on his face. "Okay. I'd like that."

Adam smiled too, fondly, and then they were moving back in together, holding each other closely.

***

It was pretty clear to both of them that they wouldn't be getting much sleep that night, not with the adrenaline of seeing each other again still coursing through their veins. Instead, Adam had made them tea and they'd sat on the window seat in their bedroom. When their legs immediately twined together, from pure habit, they both smiled slyly at the other from behind their mugs.

"I was here just the other night, wondering when you'd be back. I...I made a wish on a shooting star that it would be soon," Adam confessed, chuckling a little in embarrassment.

Shiro lightly knocked his ankle against Adam's. "Hey, it must have worked, right?"

Adam hid his smile from behind his mug, taking a sip of tea. "Yeah, I guess it did," he agreed. "You wanna hear something crazy?"

"Absolutely," Shiro said.

Adam sighed quietly and looked out the window at all of the stars in the sky, remembering the countless amount of times he had sat right here, thinking of Shiro.

"On the night you first left, I started — I started this thing. I would look up at the stars, and picture you up there. It...it helped, a little. I liked to think that you were looking at them too, thinking of me." Adam's cheeks flushed. "I know it's silly. You must have been so busy up there, leading a _rebellion._.."

Shiro reached out and took Adam's free hand into his, causing Adam to look over at him. "I watched the stars every night with you in mind," Shiro admitted, his voice nothing but earnest. "The night that Sam, Matt, and I were first captured, I...I was terrified, for so many reasons. But one of them was because I was afraid I was going to break my promise to you."

Adam's eyebrows furrowed. "What promise?" He asked quietly.

"I told you once, that no matter what, I'd always make it back to you," Shiro explained. "It's what encouraged me to fight, to make it back on Earth."

Adam looked down at he and Shiro's joined hands, and then looked up, catching sight of Shiro's robotic arm. He wanted to be happy by the words, and he was, slightly. But he was also...sad. He had a feeling that Shiro had been through _a lot_  to make it back to Earth, more than Adam could even comprehend, and that _devastated_  him.

He blinked back tears. "Probably shouldn't make promises you can't keep," he said, trying to play it off as a joke, but his voice was choked.

Shiro frowned, his eyes getting a far away look as if he was reminiscing about something that had happened to him while in space. "Yeah, you're probably right," he agreed dejectedly.

Adam took one look at Shiro, at how distant he had suddenly gotten, and freed his hand from his so he could rub tiredly at his own face.

"I'm _sorry_ ," Adam apologized, "It's late, we don't...we don't need to talk about all of that. Not tonight. You're probably getting off of a long trip here, right?"

Shiro nodded, looking like he realized Adam was letting him off the hook easy. "Terribly long," he said quietly.

"Then you should sleep," Adam said decisively. "Or...try to, anyway. I'll be right there next to you."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Shiro agreed.

Adam took his mug from him, walking over to the kitchen to put them in the sink while Shiro got settled into bed. When Adam walked back into the bedroom, he smiled softly at the sight of Shiro back in his bed... _their_  bed.

"I didn't think I'd ever see this sight again," Adam admitted quietly. He placed his glasses on his nightstand and laid down next to Shiro, sighing contentedly when strong arms were immediately wrapped around him. "It's nice."

Shiro traced gentle patterns on the bare skin of Adam's arm, and Adam closed his eyes, feeling perfectly at peace with this moment.

"It is," Shiro murmured in agreement. "I'm...I'm really glad I get to be here right now."

Not for the first time tonight, Adam got the feeling that there were a lot of things Shiro wasn't telling him. Just speculating what Shiro might have gone through while in space made Adam's pulse spike with anxiety, but he tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind — at least for the night. Tomorrow, they'd talk about everything. Adam would call Iverson for a well-deserved day off, and he and Shiro would just... _talk_.

It would be excruciating, undoubtedly so. But Adam wasn't going to think about that tonight. He was going to think about how nice it was to not have to sleep alone anymore in he and Shiro's bed, to be wrapped in Shiro's arms again after _years_.

Tomorrow would be rough. But tonight? Tonight was one shining moment of happiness for them both, after years and years of sadness and separation.

"I'm glad, too," Adam whispered, and found that he really, truly meant it.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it! feel free to leave feedback in the comments :)
> 
> (also check out the tumblr post: https://lancesman.tumblr.com/post/176270719326/pairings-adamshiro-keithlance-side-words)


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